De-Stress For Success with Isabella Ferguson
This podcast is about finding calm. I talk to the experts and bring you evidence-based practical methods to help you destress and live purposefully. In my early 40’s, I bowed out of a 20 year legal career “to spend more time with the kids”. However it was more than that. Decades of running on high anxiety and drinking to cope had had its toll on my nervous system and I was burnt out. I didn’t know it at the time, but from there I started years of recovery and ultimately stepped into a new way of living. I went to rehab, retrained as a counsellor and coach, created a successful counselling practice, became a motivational & corporate wellness speaker, took up painting and now support others to destress for success.
https://isabellaferguson.com.au
De-Stress For Success with Isabella Ferguson
3. De-Stress with Breathwork and Yoga Nidra Meditation: Practical Breathwork Strategies with Danni Carr
Ever wished you could calm your nervous system and find inner calm quickly and simply when your mind refuses to settle down? Do you ever need a quick recharge to the system that equates to 3 hours of restorative sleep when wide awake and in the midst of a chaotic day? Discover the power of breathwork and meditation with my guest, the awesome Danni Carr, a trauma-informed coach and certified meditation and breathwork teacher.
Danni discusses how breathwork can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, drawing us into a tranquil space despite the whirlwind of thoughts in our heads. We delve deep into how our breath can play a vital role in reducing our stress levels and establishing equilibrium in our lives. Danni also sheds light on the potential of yoga nidra to restore the nervous system, improve memory, and even aid ADHD.
As we navigate through life's ups and downs, Danni shares easy-to-implement breathwork strategies that can help rejuvenate your body and mind on a daily basis. She emphasises the significance of acknowledging our need for self-time and reveals how breathwork can become a potent tool in managing stress. This insightful discussion will equip you with practical techniques to incorporate simple breathwork into your everyday routine, transforming it into a source of serenity and balance.
Finally, Danni guides us in short and simple breathwork and body awareness meditation. Get ready to immerse yourself in this enriching experience and learn how to harness the power of your breath and yoga nidra to de-stress.
To jump straight onto Danni's guided breath work and meditation, visit: https://insighttimer.com/howiquitalcohol
To learn more about Danni, visit her website: https://www.iquitalcohol.com.au/pages/about
If you would like support de-stress, drink less and find balance, you can also visit my website at: https://isabellaferguson.com.au
ISABELLA FERGUSON
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Our topic today is covering a subject that is intimately related to stress, our breath and our state of mind, and I couldn't think of a better expert to talk to us about it than Danny Carr, who is a trauma-informed sobriety coach living in the Byron Shire. She has studied compassion inquiry with Dr Gabor Marte and is a certified meditation and breathwork teacher.
Speaker 2:Danny, welcome Hi hello, thank you so much for having me on. I'm so stoked.
Speaker 1:Well, you're excellent, You're welcome, Danny. Look what led you to train in this field to begin with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I've been running my challenges the alcohol-free challenges for quite a while and wanting to teach people to do breathwork, and I actually had a breathwork teacher Sam Brown would come in and do a kind of mini course for people on breathwork. And, you know, I started doing the breathwork as well, obviously joining in with everyone, and started doing a lot of Sam's courses and I just saw how beneficial it was for myself and thought, well, this would be a great thing to be able to teach people that I'm working with, with my coaching clients. So I thought, yeah, yeah, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go and learn how to do it. And did, and I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is absolutely an amazing tool to have at your sleep, with so many people don't have, so that's why I'm just thrilled to have you on to talk a little bit about it. Would you mind just letting us know what happens to our breath and our nervous system when we feel stressed?
Speaker 2:Well, when we feel stressed, we generally kind of we tighten up and we start to breathe in our chest area and the breath becomes shallow. You know, the shoulders can go up, the voice goes a bit higher and we breathe more rapidly, and then what we're doing is we're kind of activating the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight, or if we're in fight or flight, that's what we go to we start to breathe shallowly, like this, and so when we're in that stress state, that's how we're kind of running, and so many of us are running like that all the time, we don't even realize. And so it's really easy to get yourself out of that fight or flight and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is your rest and digest, just by your breath. It's so simple and actually all you have to do is you don't even have to do anything super fancy with any- alternate nostril breathing or anything like that.
Speaker 2:It can just be extending your exhale and that's what I realized also with the work that I do and working with so many people like I could get to the end of the day and be completely frazzled and mind of, and I'd notice myself, I'm like and I'm all up in my chest and I'm feeling anxious and feeling on. I started to realize, yeah, this is, this is no good and that's why, bringing Sam in and starting to do those breathwork practices, I could see how it was making such an impact on me and my own nervous system and how I started to change the way that I was breathing and it just had such a profound effect on me instantly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when, as soon as you said, you start breathing in the upper part of your chest and it's shallow and quick. I can I think of days when I probably have spent the entire day in that state and not even realized it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then you sort of caught in a cycle of not releasing and breathing and it can just build up. That's right.
Speaker 2:And once it becomes a practice, mind you, I'm still guilty of it. So I'll still be going through the day and I'll realize, oh gee, I need to, you know, get back into my breath and breathe and anchor myself a little bit more. But yeah, once it becomes a practice, you become so much more aware. What's interesting is because I'm a singer and so is my husband, so we do a lot of diaphragmatic breathing through singing and I didn't realize. I kind of thought I had it nailed and it wasn't until I really started to notice myself and become aware that no, I'm only doing that when I'm singing. Yes, Not day to day.
Speaker 1:So yeah, how? How does meditation and breath work connect as sort of two practices? Like, does breath work come in with meditation, or do you do meditation without the breath, or they just they're a combined thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great question. Look, you can do them separately, usually to set up for meditation. I'd start with a bit of breath work just to get you out of that fight or flight state or to activate the parasympathetic nervous system so we can rest and digest and get into that more meditative space. So I think the two go hand in hand. But some people their mind is too busy for meditation and so breath work is a great first step to getting there. It gives you something to do and to focus on where for some people it's too much to just sit and meditate and just be with the breath. The mind's too busy. So I think breath work is a really beautiful start to get you on the journey.
Speaker 1:That makes sense to me. But in my very limited experience with trying to meditate it just doesn't seem to immediately come and I know it probably takes lots of practice. But the breath work seems to, because it's almost movement and focus. And when you're focusing on your breath you can't necessarily have other thoughts intrude as well. So it's that calming kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If the whole idea and tell me if I've got this wrong is that when you start your breath work and you're listening to somebody talk you through it, you're just slowly notching yourself into a calm state and essentially giving yourself some respite from being so revved up, and I imagine stress hormones are then able to kind of subside as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I think when you're doing either a guided practice, a guided practice is so much easier, so I usually use a guided practice.
Speaker 2:Unless I'm doing a specific meditation, I run myself through my own little breath work practice, but honestly I prefer to do a guided one because it just gives you that framework to go with, I think, as soon as you have something to focus on. So, look, it's not just meditation and breath work, it's mindfulness practices as well, but anything that brings you out of your mind and that story and brings you back into your body. Because when we're up in the mind and the story, we're releasing the stress hormones and the survival emotion, those chemicals get released, the cortisol and things like that. So that's what happens when we're in the mind, but when we come into the body, it's completely different, and then we're not up here in our story, we're just focused on something. So, yeah, whether it's breath work, whether it's just being in the present moment, it's all it really is. And meditation is the same. All of it really is just about refocusing your mind, to focus on one thing rather than be up here with all the fluctuations of the mind.
Speaker 1:The list, the endless things to do, the phone calls, the negative self-talk, everything that's kind of putting you in a state of frenzy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's right. The thing is too. I think that the important part of this is, you know, when you said that, oh, it's really hard to meditate, the point of the practice is not necessarily to think nothing, but it's to refocus the mind. And that's the goal. That's where we strengthen our mind and create new neural pathways. And every time we're off in story land and we can manage to bring our mind back to a point of focus, that's meditation, that's the good work.
Speaker 2:And then when you can start then taking that out into your daily life, so when you're driving in the car and so I think that fucking bitch, yes. But then you can notice that and then, with kindness and compassion, just coming to your breath for a moment, you're not up there in that story and you can see how it starts to work in your daily life. So it's not just, oh, I do this every morning at five o'clock in the morning and then two o'clock in the afternoon, it's actually. You start to bring it into your daily life and it becomes the habit and the mind changes and it's fucking amazing you know you don't get so caught up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was. You explained that, so so well. It's almost like you then can become an observer of your own thoughts, to be able to refocus it back in.
Speaker 2:And we need it right, Like even when we're in some story about he said, she said or oh my God, I've got these endless list of things to do and you can start, and then you, the breathing starts to go. Okay, no, can I bring it back? Bring it back to my breath and just be in this present moment, yeah, and then we're suddenly not releasing all those horrible stress hormones in the body, which creates inflammation and more stress, and you know, the list goes on. We start to reach for externals to make ourselves feel better. We feel so out of sorts. It's just amazing how just one breath can bring us back to breath. If we need 10, if you need.
Speaker 1:And we've got it within us, so you don't need to go and buy something or sign up to something expensive. It's something we were born with, particularly really busy people and look to be honest, that's everybody that walks the planet that kind of uptight breathing and that stress for many starts in the morning when they wake up and they reach for the phone and then you're automatically on your emails, you're reading through the news and you can already, you're already going, and what I've learned is that that stress then accumulates throughout the day unless you've got little moments that you're able to give pause and to release the stress valve. So, danny, what can people do if they're running around in their lives and they're stuck in a bit of a strict routine? What's a practical tip that they can do just to re-centre and be that observer and bring it into a bit of a calmer state of mind?
Speaker 2:What do I do? Because I'm super busy and I tend to run a little bit more on the. My nervous system is a bit more on, so I have to work at it to keep myself fairly regulated throughout the day. So just checking in, just remembering that the hard thing is remembering to do it.
Speaker 2:That's the hard bit. So I actually put Post-it notes around the place. I'll have one in my car, I'll have one at the fridge, I have one in my bathroom next to my bed. Just breathe, breathe. I've actually got tattooed, actually, also on my foot. That is so good, I've got breathe and surrender on my feet, because I need to remember both of those things. So you know, and then just all you need to do is you could say take in a breath for four, so breathing in through the nose for four, hold at the top for a couple of seconds and just let the breath go Exhale. For if you can push it out to eight, great Six is fine. You know, in for four, out for eight.
Speaker 2:You know, extending your exhale and you can just do that. Gosh, even once makes a difference, like let's try that now, just even just breathing in through the nose. Okay, all right, just a simple one. So we're breathing in for four Yep Three, two, one, and hold it for maybe two and then just slowly release the breath. Beautiful, and I could just see all your, I could see your shoulders just drop there and it's like ah.
Speaker 1:It is. It's just a stop. You've got this and re-center.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:As simple as that that's incredible.
Speaker 2:And then if you're feeling still a little bit, ah, do it again.
Speaker 1:So if you just wanted to do it, say four cycles, that would be enough to kind of relax you a little. Then to start off again, yeah, what if you wanted? Sorry, you'd go Danny.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say just extending that exhale starts to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. So if you say, do four.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Just four in for four, out for eight. I mean, that is such a great reset and you'll probably find you're not the same person that you were before. You said that first breath. It's incredible the way in which that can just reset as the re-center and then it's like okay, all right, I'm a bit more with it now. I'm a bit more ready to go and just make such a huge difference.
Speaker 1:Look, I am an absolute beginner when it comes to breath work and meditation, but I'm starting. There's always been a little um. It's always been on a list somewhere and, in preparation for today, yesterday I was having a particularly stress day. There is a lot going on, there's a house move and sort of a personal issue had cropped up last week in our family. So I thought I'm going to sit on down and do Danny cars 14 minute breath work to settle the nervous system and after this 14 minutes I felt so chilled and it felt like a secret indulgence and I can't almost can't wait to whack on my next one. You know, when my husband goes I'm going to do another one. It's just, it's like you've just rediscovered this super battery recharger. It's incredible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just so amazing. Anything like that, where we it's just even taking that time, isn't it to pause? I mean, it's great to have a practice, a breath practice or a meditation practice to bolster that, but you would just take a moment and just sit and be with yourself and be with your breath. You don't even need to do anything fancy, just stay with your breath, breathing in, breathing out. You know it's, it's just like okay, I need this. And the thing is it's great that you recognize that you needed it and the body sending a signals all the time hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 2:Like you know, you might feel the shoulders up or the breathing change might have a knot in your stomach or your mind super busy, or hands are sweating or you're having an anxiety attack. Sometimes, when you're having an anxiety attack, it's a bit too late. You need to sort of perhaps take a walk first and then slowly is into breath work, practice. But your body if your body sending you the signals, you don't, that's when you need it. A lot of people say I have to stress, I'm too busy, know that's the other one that needs it. That's right.
Speaker 1:And I'm so used to grabbing a phone and just doing random scrolling or probably food would be my second thing to you know unhealthily unwind and I can get actually caught in almost like food binge cycles with chocolate and chips or vinegar chips when you don't have alcohol as an option. There are all those other sorts of things that you pick up, but I think this could be a really good option. That's an easy go to, to add into the, the toolkit for one of a better word that it just could be the kickstarter that you need. There's also that wonderful meditation or breath work that a lot of people talk about it and you do as well which is the yoga nidra. Yes, what does that mean? What's that about?
Speaker 2:that's a little superpower yoga nidra is amazing and that's kind of a combination of bit of breath work and body awareness and meditation and you do that one lying down. So you do that one lying down on your back.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's.
Speaker 2:Yoga nidra means, I think the direct translation is yogic sleep. It's basically you're putting your body to sleep and you're slowing your brain waves down, just so you're sleeping. Like it mimics sleep. You're still awake, although I must say I'm guilty, I pretty much fall asleep every time I do yoga nidra, even though you're not meant to Naughty meditation teacher over here. But so yoga nidra, it's like the health benefits. A lot of doctors are using it, lot of psychotherapists yes, there's a lot of doctors, particularly functional medicine doctors, that are prescribing yoga nidra because it has so many health benefits. That lowers your blood pressure, settles your nervous system, lowers inflammation markers in the body. It's just like everything. It's basically does everything.
Speaker 2:But so what it is usually start with a bit of breath awareness. So you're lying there on your back. You go through a body rotation when you focus on different parts of the body and as you start to do this, the brain waves start to slow down. So it's really quite amazing if you see unlike an ECG when someone's doing yoga nidra how the brain waves go from quite busy the beta waves like this to Almost like not moving delta, that they are delta waves which are quite long and wide and slow, they're not moving much. So you're getting yourself and then you're kind of getting into this sort of deep hypnotic state almost, and it's the most of my god, it's just so beautiful.
Speaker 2:Within there also, you do a thing called a sun culpa, which is like a, like a vision statement, I guess, of it's like a mantra of how you want to be. I guess is probably the best, most simple terms of way of describing it sun culpa. So you bring in the sun culpa at the start and sun culpa at the end. When you're in that deep meditative state, if you're still awake and that you know they say 30 minutes of yoga nidra is equivalent to three hours of sleep, no way, yeah, yeah, yoga nidra is great for your memory as well, like if you've learned something. It's great to go into yoga nidra directly, like straight after you've been studying. You remember 50% more. Isn't that incredible?
Speaker 2:it is absolutely incredible yoga nidra is my religion. I do it every day. I do it every day at pretty much at two o'clock most days, even if I'm working I have been known to because I did like you meant to stay is miss a wake. But if I've gotten to set the timer and say I've got a coaching client, I actually did sleep half an hour into a coaching. Oh my God, am I going to tell the truth here, which I did. I'm like oh my God, I'm so sorry I snuck in a yoga nitro.
Speaker 1:No, it's yoga nitro.
Speaker 2:But anyway, yoga nitro I can't stress it enough and it's really great for people as well who have a busy, busy mind because you've guided through. It's great for people with ADHD. So Mark Persa, who's my teacher yes, who I run yoga retreat, meditation retreats and healing retreats with, he is got pretty full on ADHD and he uses his yoga nitro every day. He notices if he doesn't do it, the mind gets super busy and a bit chaotic and it's just a beautiful practice to keep the mind steady, and so it's. I would say to anyone that's experiencing ADHD to go and try yoga nitro. So I've got one on insight timer which is 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Which is more for those busy-minded type people, which is quite a fast moving yoga nitro, and you're less likely to go to sleep in that one too, but it just resets you. So even when you feel tired, come to yoga nitro and your lunch break. It resets you. It's incredible.
Speaker 1:Oh well, that is the best tip. I think we can give a lot of our listeners is that you've got the ability to take that patch out, depending on how much time you've got in your schedule, whether it's 15 minutes, 20, 30, restoring the nervous system, creating that space, helping your memory, helping all of your internal medical stats, and you're getting three hours sleep worth. If you're doing it in a particular way, I'm sure it needs to be done.
Speaker 2:Well, if you do 30 minutes, but even a 15 minute one, like I feel completely rejuvenated. It's so amazing. But also when you get into those delta and theta brainwaves, that's when that's where we get into in deep sleep, where the body restores itself. So it's deeply restorative for the body. It's amazing and it's not like a new thing. It's a very old yoga practice which is hundreds and hundreds of years old, so it's tried and tested and now it's got a lot of science to back it as well. So it's really amazing.
Speaker 1:I wish we all learned this. I wish it was a school thing that we all did as a practice. But we have to kind of struggle a bit to then find something that we know is good for us in a way, and I loved how you mentioned that it's a practice. So it's kind of like a preemptive practice rather than a band-aid at the end. That's it, you can keep it going every day.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. There's a great doctor. I'll just say this to you, there's a doctor Oscar Karowak. He's out of the Byron Bay Health Lodge. He does amazing lectures on yoga nidra and he, like, teaches people yoga nidra as a medicine. So I would say, of all the things, if you can get yourself that 15, 20 minute window, oh my gosh, you won't ever regret doing yoga nidra. It's just amazing. It's amazing superpower.
Speaker 1:I'm absolutely hooked, danny, and you've actually got the voice for it and that calm presence, like I think I've sat here over the last 20 minutes and just completely relaxed Before we. I'd love to end on maybe a two minute guided relaxed breath work for our listeners with you if you're open to it. But before we do, where can people find you and some of your guided breath work, because I cannot recommend just your style and the way that you guide it through highly enough.
Speaker 2:Where can we find those. Thank you Well. So on the Insight Timer app. So that's the. It's free, it's a free app and it's got a little singing bowl on it. You can see when you look it up. So, insight Timer, I've also got someone YouTube as well. Fantastic, and yeah, they're there to use, yeah.
Speaker 1:Awesome. I'm going to put some of those little links in the show notes so that everybody can have a look and jump on and find that 15 to 30 minutes in their day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, there's one. One of the yoga needed practices that I've got on. There is 23 minutes. It's a deeply relaxing one. So I would say, give that a go, or the 15 minute one if you sort of don't have much time.
Speaker 2:But one thing is I'll just say this yeah, like with the work that we do, that you and I do and that other, you know that we're all doing like, we're all kind of running ourselves fairly thin and it's just so important to make sure that you're filling your bucket, like you're filling your cup.
Speaker 2:So you know, as we say as sober coaches, so we're not filling our wine. You know wine glass, yeah, but it's so important, it's so needed. And when I studied with Gabor Marte, he said and he would stress this so much that when we're working with people, you need to allow at least an hour a day to fill your cup or to fill your bucket. And I was like an hour a day, that's ridiculous. But now I realize, like, how much I need it. And if I don't do it, if I'm not filling my bucket, my body lets me know, because my nervous system goes and I feel out of sorts, I feel dysregulated, I'm starting to get shitty and moody, snappy, everything starts to unravel. So it's it's so important it's not just for us, but for the people around us as well, the people that we're working with, so that we can give what we need but we're not running ourselves ragged in the process. It's really important.
Speaker 1:And Danny, this is more than just having a hot chocolate on a couch, isn't it? As? Being you'll fill the cup, which I know that. I'm guilty of that's. That's pretty much all I do sometimes, or it's great too. Yeah, yeah, but it you need more, don't you, than just that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Look, you know, and if it's yoga, nidra, even four times a week, is hugely beneficial, even if it's not every day, but taking some time out just to check, okay, what's my breath doing, what's my body telling me? The body's constantly letting us know that we're so accustomed to ignoring our body and that conversation that the body's trying to have with us. We're like we try and shove it away or drink it away or eat it away or whatever it away, or we just ignore it, and that's when we end up completely unraveled, sick, diseased addicted yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's so important to go okay, I'm giving out. How am I going to give back to myself? How am I going to keep filling my own cup? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, danny, your clients are so lucky to have you. You just hear that wonderful compassion coming through, all right. So this is for purely selfish motives here. Would you mind doing a two minute breath, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's do it. That would be unreal. Let's keep it super simple, so, okay. So, if you're driving, pull over. Yes, do that At least I do this while you're driving.
Speaker 1:You've got the dog, maybe tied to a tree.
Speaker 2:That's what I do with my dog down on the beach trying to meditate. I just tie him up to the pole and I just move up a few doing some treats. Okay, so, all right. So, just wherever you are just sort of becoming accustomed to your body, like just becoming aware of your body, becoming aware of your breath, just noticing the fact that you're breathing, start to become aware of the air as it enters the nostrils and follow that journey of the breath as it goes through the nostrils, through the throat, chest, seeing if we can guide the breath down into the belly and, as we exhale, just gently bringing the belly button back towards the spine and just letting go, breathing in through the nose into the belly, expanding the belly on your inhale and just letting go on your exhale Again, breathing into the belly long, slow, steady breath and exhale, letting the breath gently go. I'm just going to bring an account now with our inhale, bringing an account of four, three, two, one. Hold the breath at the top for two, one, slowly exhale through the nose five, four, three, two, one and breathing in through the nose four, three, two, one and hold two, one and exhale through the nose five, four, three, two, one, and again, breathing in through the nose into the belly. Expand the belly. Two, one, holding at the top, letting the breath go, breathing in again through the nose, expanding the belly, expanding the chest, holding at the top, leasing the breath. Five, four, three, two, one. Then just letting go of the count, just letting the breath stabilize.
Speaker 2:Breathing in through the nose, out through the nose, just becoming aware of your feet on the floor, taking the points of contact, your feet, either in your shoes or on the floor. Becoming aware of the ends of your toes, slowly taking awareness to the knees, awareness to your bum in the seat, the small of your back, your mid back, upper back. Becoming aware of your shoulders, your arms, fingertips, just letting the shoulders and the arms become heavy. Becoming aware of your tummy and your chest, the neck, learning the jaw relax. Just letting go, just for this moment, awareness to the crown of the head. Now, just having that sense, the awareness of your whole body, whole body, whole body. And again, just noticing the breath, becoming aware of the room that you're in or the car that you're in, becoming aware of some sounds outside of the room, sound of your breath, taking a final inhale in through the nose, holding at the top, releasing the breath, then slowly open your eyes.
Speaker 1:Aww, thank you so much, danika. It's just magical, really, it's gold. Particularly because you don't breathe that way normally. You don't think you can breathe out anymore, but you can, and then it's incredibly calming.
Speaker 2:I didn't get the giggles, that was good, I don't know where I've been going to get the giggles in meditation, but it's beautiful, that awareness of the breath, the awareness of the body, and then you're out of the story and you're just in the present moment. Just for that moment You're the best.
Speaker 1:I absolutely love it. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. Have the best day.
Speaker 2:You too. See you, isabella, thank you.
